


Katharsis

by buriedandreset



Series: Loba/Bangalore [6]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Catharsis, F/F, Fluff, Mentions of dead parents, threat of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28378248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buriedandreset/pseuds/buriedandreset
Summary: Loba made a decision about Revenant's Source Code, and there will be consequences for it.****Do not read this fic if you have not seen the Loba and Revenant short posted on the official Apex Legends Twitter and don't want to be spoiled****
Relationships: Loba Andrade/Bangalore | Anita Williams
Series: Loba/Bangalore [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021294
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Katharsis

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the new Loba and Revenant short, I just had to write Loba reacting after the fact. Needless to say, this new lore short kind of nuked a couple fics I was working on, but oh well!

Catharsis was something that Loba had only ever _dreamed_ about feeling. While she’d of course hoped to one day feel it, she’d never anticipated just _how_ it would feel. Part of her hadn’t expected Revenant to let her walk away from that encounter, or at least to not walk away from it in one piece. But she had been able to walk away. She was injured, and it had been an encounter that wouldn’t have had either of them walking away unscathed in one way or another.

At least Revenant had a few bullet holes and chinks in his chassis to take care of. Loba would be bruised to all hell, and she might be bleeding but none of that mattered right now. She walked away with her head held high, her grip on her staff tight enough to turn her knuckles white. There was so much roiling within her that she refused to let him see anything but the haughtiness of having the upperhand and ensuring that the _demonio_ suffered.

Once she was a safe distance away, Loba tossed her jump drive as far as she could manage. And once she reappeared, she made her way to some remote place. There was so much running through her head and her heart, and it wasn’t the kind of things that she could put to words. No, these were things that could only be expressed through screaming. But not just _any_ scream. The screaming she needed to do was one that she’d held inside for the past twenty-five years, and it was one that had grown and had other aspects of emotion added to it.

Loss. Pain. Determination. Desire. Anger. Grief. Vengeance. Hate. Trauma. Stress.

It had all blended together over the years, growing and festering inside of her. But now she’d finally gotten what she wanted. Well, okay, it wasn’t _exactly_ what she’d wanted, but after discovering that Revenant couldn’t actually die without destroying the Source Code and that he actually _wanted_ to die, she had to shift her desire for killing him into something else.

There had been a moment of time when Loba considered giving him what he wanted and destroying the Source Code. If one looked at it from a moral standpoint, it was probably the so-called “right” choice to destroy the Source Code. It would ensure that Revenant didn’t kill anyone else, at the very least. But there was also the part where Loba would be something akin to a hero for Revenant, and that was something that left such a bad taste in her mouth and made her feel sick.

Loba wasn’t a good guy, not entirely at any rate. She was a thief. Lawful Good was not an alignment that had ever complimented her. Neither was she evil-aligned, but she was somewhere in the middle, having aspects of both. But at the end of the day, she was always in it for herself and preserving her interests and desires. So that’s when she’d decided to get her revenge. She _needed_ to do it in an attempt to make herself feel better.

She was not a deliverer of justice, but a weapon of vengeance. Her anger, hate and grief had moulded her, and she couldn’t rest until she got her vengeance.

All of this and more swirled around inside her until she arrived at the place where it all began so many years ago. The only sound was the clicking of her heels on the floor as she approached the elevator shaft. Approaching it, she came to a stop, gazing at the floor. All she could see was her father’s lifeless body lying there. She closed her eyes, and twitched at the memory as echoes of her father’s voice rang in her ears.

Taking an unsteady breath, Loba crouched down and reached out, pressing her fingers against the cold floor where Marcos Andrade had fallen. She touched it with reverence, giving her father a silent greeting. After some moments, she stood up and moved into the elevator shaft and looked up. A cold shiver ran down her spine, but she took the zipline up. Despite the bodies having long since been removed, all she could see was the chaos of broken furniture, broken glass, bullets and blood with bodies littering the room. She walked over to where her mother had fallen, taking a shaky breath as she crouched down, her fingers brushing along the floor. The image of her mother’s body flashed through her mind’s eye and she twitched again. She gave her a silent greeting before she stood up and looked around the room where her life had been shattered and everything had changed.

“It is done.” Three simple words, but the meaning they carried was the furthest from simple as it could get. It was heavy and complicated, but saying the words seemed to release a weight from her. She drew in another shaky breath as she turned and left the way she came.

Once outside, she walked over to the edge of Olympus. If Loba wasn’t careful, she would fall to her death. There was a little part of her that wouldn’t necessarily mind that outcome. It would take away satisfaction Revenant would get from potentially killing her one day. It would also possibly save both Anita and Jaime a lot of hardship and pain. But Loba wasn’t suicidal, and she wasn’t going to jump.

As she stood there, she first looked down at the clouds below Olympus before she lifted her head and looked up into the sky. And then she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Loba took a deep breath and screamed. She screamed as hard as she could, as loud as she could. She screamed it all out, and it made her ribs hurt even more than they already had from getting hit by Revenant in their confrontation. But she didn’t care. She simply kept screaming. Eventually, she sunk down to her knees as she was unable to stand any longer, but she still screamed.

It was a scream of catharsis. She was releasing everything that she’d kept locked inside of herself for twenty-five years. At some point, tears had started falling from her eyes and she started sob-screaming. It was all coming out now, and Loba couldn’t stop the tide even if she wanted to. But this was something that she _needed_ and so she rode the waves of emotions.

Loba screamed until she went hoarse, and even then she was still crying. She’d become the epitome of a puddle of emotion on the ground. She couldn’t move, so she just stayed there for a long time until she felt that she could make an attempt to get up and leave.

It was only after she couldn’t scream anymore that thoughts of Anita and Jaime drifted back into her mind. Thinking of them only prompted more tears to fall because she knew she’d put a target on their backs. It would be better for everyone if she simply detached herself. Anita might be able to escape unscathed, but even if she pulled away from Jaime, it was possible that Revenant could still figure out that he’d been the one to help Loba find the demon in the first place.

She could still save Anita, but the price of saving her was high. Far too high that even Loba didn’t think she could pay it. But even knowing that, she also couldn’t stand the thought of seeing someone she loved die at Revenant’s hands again. Loba knew she couldn’t survive that. She loved Anita too much to be able to survive such a blow. But even if she cut ties with Anita, it would kill her just as much. And she also knew that if she even tried to break up with Anita and leave, the soldier would only come after her.

There was a choice that she needed to make and she didn’t know which one she’d choose. She wasn’t altruistic. She was a thief, someone who shirked the law simply because she wanted to. She’d spent so long only looking out for herself that being altruistic was not in her nature. She was selfish, and she knew being selfish could get the woman she loved killed.

The question then would become would it be worth it? Would it be worth it to be happy for a period of time before the inevitable happened? It wasn’t something she could answer while being a mess on the ground. So finally, she picked herself up, grunting in pain, and she did the only thing she could: Go to Anita.

By the time Loba was at Anita’s door, standing up straight wasn’t an option, and she was leaning heavily on her staff. Her make up was a mess and while she’d stopped crying, it was more than obvious that she had been crying. And it was beyond obvious that she’d been in a fight. She lifted a hand and knocked. She didn’t even know if Anita was home or not, but she didn’t have to wonder about that for long as the door opened, and Anita’s expression went from being mildly annoyed to shocked faster than the speed of light.

“What the fuck happened?” Anita asked as she moved to slip an arm around Loba and guided her inside, kicking the door closed behind them. Loba leaned heavily against Anita as she was guided over to the couch.

“Revenant,” she croaked out, her voice raw.

“Shit,” Anita responded as she got Loba to sit down and she quickly went about inspecting her injuries. “Don’t move,” she ordered after a minute before she went off to the bathroom and came back with a first-aid kit. Loba had a wound that needed dressing, though the blood seemed to have already dried. She put some disinfectant on a piece of gauze and started cleaning the wound. Loba hissed, her body twitching slightly in pain. After taking care of the wound, which only needed a bandage to keep it from getting infected, Anita got up and got some water, and brought it back to Loba as she sat down beside her.

“Thanks,” she croaked again, taking the water and taking a long drink of it.

“Don’t worry about it, girl,” she responded. While she’d been up, Anita had done a quick surveillance check and made sure the door was locked. If Revenant had done this to Loba, there was a possibility that he was following her. And the soldier wasn’t about to give the asshole a free shot at them. She clearly needed to break out some heavy artillery, but not just yet. “What happened?”

Loba took a slow breath and her voice was barely louder than a whisper if only because her throat was raw and she was trying not to cause herself any further physical pain if she could help it. “I made my choice about his Source Code. Instead of destroying it, I took it to a Phase Runner and sent it towards Gridiron. He didn’t like that, but I’ll be damned before I give that _demonio_ what he wants. I want him to suffer, so he’s never going to die.”

“Gridiron? Are you _insane_?! You know he’s going to kill you and who knows how many others trying to get to his Source Code.” Anita stated. Now wasn’t exactly the best time to get into an argument over sending the thing to Gridiron, her home planet, but Anita didn’t exactly like that.

“I know, but I couldn’t give him what he wanted. He once took away everything I cared about, so I took away what he cared about.” It sounded absolutely childish, but Loba hadn’t been about to be the savior of a murderer like Revenant. She didn’t want to be a savior at all, that wasn’t her.

“Guess I’ll just have to invest in more heavy artillery,” Anita commented. “And you sure as hell aren’t leaving my sight. When he comes for you, he’s gotta go through both of us.”

Loba looked at Anita. “I’m sorry I put you in this position. You deserve better than me, but I can’t...I can’t let go of you, even if it means I could save your life, I’m too selfish.”

“Princess, even if you _tried_ to push me away, I wouldn’t let you.” Anita lifted a hand and pressed it against Loba’s cheek. “I love you, and I’d rather die fighting to protect you than ever watch you walk away from what we have. I’m not saying I like your decision to put people in harm’s way, and I absolutely _hate_ that you sent the Source Code to Gridiron, but I’m not abandoning you. I’ve got your back.”

It was enough to make Loba start crying again, and she hadn’t thought she could possibly cry anymore. Tears started rolling down her cheeks again. “I love you,” she whispered back before she leaned in and kissed Anita deeply and with a desperate kind of need that Loba hadn’t known before. She’d been emptied of everything when she’d screamed it all out, and now she wanted to be filled with something good, something that wouldn’t weigh her down.

She both wanted and needed Anita’s love to heal the damage that had been done. As Anita returned the kiss, she couldn’t help but to feel guilt over putting her in this position. But without Anita, she was a dead woman, and Loba was nothing if not vivacious. She was undoubtedly still a dead woman walking, but with Anita at her side, perhaps she could find the strength to face that fate she’d chosen for herself. And knowing that Anita would be there with her was a comfort. Moreso than she’d thought it would be.

After a minute, Loba broke the kiss and looked at Anita. “Hold me,” she whispered, her voice wavering with emotion. Anita immediately pulled Loba into her arms and settled back on the couch, holding her close. Loba snuggled in and closed her eyes, letting Anita’s scent soothe her. Anita grabbed a blanket and draped it around them as she held her lover close.

“I gotcha,” she whispered in Loba’s ear. And she did. Anita would fight off an entire army of Revenants if she had to to protect the woman she loved. This thief that had swept into her life and effectively stolen her heart. Knowing that she’d stolen Loba’s heart in the process was icing on the cake.

It didn’t long before Loba fell asleep in Anita’s arms. She was utterly drained and exhausted, but she also felt safe there, wrapped in her lover’s arms. It was warm and inviting. There was undoubtedly an argument to be had later about what Loba had done, but for now, she was safe.

Loba had finally gotten vengeance, and she’d found catharsis. That day had ended her quest for vengeance. When the sun would rise the next day, it would start a whole new chapter, one that involved love and the threat of losing everything once again. Which raised that question again of if it was worth it.

And the answer was yes, it was worth it. To be in Anita’s arms, safe and loved despite everything, it was worth it.

 _Anita_ was worth it.


End file.
